Everett CollectionAdvertisement - Continue Reading BelowDEAR E. JEAN:I need more friends. I need the love and support of comrades! I know people are busy, but I'm gregarious, smart, and married to a handsome introvert. I work from home, and I'd love a girls' night out. Yet I have no girlfriends. Is it because I'm attractive, and women don't like me because I get lots of attention? Or because my income is high? I promise I never mention it, and I'm more than willing to go to a local bar for happy hour and free appetizers. It's so awkward trying to make friends at 37. But I can't just sit at home with the cute hubby and the cute dog in our cute condo seven nights a week! Help!
More From ELLE—Friendless in Seattle
MISS SEATTLE: High income? Good looks? Is there a woman in America who believes these are disadvantages? Apparently you're here to tell Auntie Eeee there is. Drop it. You're waaaaay ahead in the friend game. But I'm afraid that what with the vodka, the fake models, the bathroom meltdowns, the competition for dudes, the selfies, the who-thinks-who-at-the-table-is-fat, and so on, girls' nights out shatter more friendships than build them.
So you can go one of two ways here:
1. The Good. Write a list of worthy causes you support (e.g., tonight I'm attending a Morgan's Place event to help find happiness for homeless dogs), select those closest to your heart, and simply keep showing up to help. You'll have a half-dozen noble new friends by spring.
2. The Bad. Hire a social-media manager from Niche or theAudience. Their cliques of influencers will entice followers to your Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and YouTube accounts. Your PR agent (whom you will also hire) will then get you invited to hot events, and it's at these hot events that you'll meet your new friends.
Brutal and cynical, but it works for movie stars. It may work for you.
Related: Ask E. Jean: My Boyfriend Wants Me and the Waitress
Related: Ask E. Jean: How do I Approach My Crush
Related: Ask E. Jean: How do I Salvage My Wrecked Rep?