Dear E. Jean: My fiancé and I are moving to a new apartment in L.A. right after our wedding (in Wisconsin), and we're thinking of not registering for gifts. We don't want a lot of useless things we don't need! Instead, we'd like to just set up an anonymous donation account where guests can give money. My future mother-in-law is obsessed with appearances and is horrified that this looks cheap. Who is right?—Don't Want to Be Tacky
Advertisement - Continue Reading BelowMiss Don't, My Daffodil: I once attended a wedding on an Indiana soybean farm—the bride's parents were prosperous agrarians of Polish descent, and the groom's family was Italian—and we practically tore our pockets inside out topping one another tossing cash into a bushel basket that went round and round the dance hall. I staggered away from the celebration without a dime to my name, but the couple got enough cash to furnish their little nest.
More From ELLEAlthough some people might be surprised by this tradition, Carley Roney, founder with her husband, David Liu, of Theknot.com, agrees with you: "If you aren't lucky enough to be born Italian or Chinese (two cultures where greenbacks are the norm as a wedding gift), do both: Register and start a 'cash registry.' And be sure and spread the word through your mom and bridesmaids that you'd love the money."
"And if you register for just a small number of gifts," says Lisa Birnbach, author of True Prep and the authority on preppy weddings, "when your mother-in-law's friends see you've gotten what you sought, they might send you money anyway."